Why Cesarean Mom's Don't get a 'Free Pass' on Labor

4:00 pm on a Friday; a week and a half away from my due date. At this point, I had been making trips to the hospital to see my OBGYN every week. Baby-girl was measuring smaller the few weeks prior. Due to this, an ultrasound was ordered, and I was just praying my daughter was okay!

During the ultrasound they diagnosed my baby with Intrauterine Growth Restriction; also known as IUGR. Her BPP was 6/8 which made the pregnancy equivocal. Luckly, 80-85% of babies diagnosed with IUGR are constitutionally small but healthy babies. But that big percentage didn't seem to outweigh the possibility that there was a 15-20% chance that something could be causing her to be smaller. My anxiety increased as the ultrasound tech got off the phone with my OB. She told me that I was being admitted for a stress test and that I would likely be booked in for a stay. Thankfully my partner, Casey was with me for this appointment, and he had treated me to a filling late lunch before-hand.

This is the very last photo I have of my daughter in my stomach during the stress test! <3

After being monitored for what seemed like forever, my Midwife came in the room and explained to me that she believed it was in our best interest to start an induction. It is normal for Dr's to induce IUGR babies at 34 weeks or more due to increased risk of Placental Insufficiency. (Which is the leading cause of IUGR)

I was Terrified! As soon as she told me it was time, panic set in. Not the kind that makes you hyperventilate, more the kind where my entire brain started fogging and adrenaline started rushing through my body. You can take all the time you need in the nine months of pregnancy to prepare yourself for birth but let me tell you. In that moment I was not prepared! I guess it's safe to say that if you're expecting you should prepare for the unpreparable.

After going through all of my induction options we decided on what was best for me and the waiting game begun!

The first night, Morphine was administered. That was a scary experience for me due to how it first felt when it entered my system. A sharp pain traveled from my forehead all the way up around my head, down my neck, and into my spine. My first reaction was 'Well, this is it'

I remember crying to the nurse trying to explain what was going on. I was worried I was having a bad reaction since I had never had it before. Thankfully, after a few minutes the pain was gone, and I felt better. I don't remember much after that except that I didn't sleep at all!

The sweet night nurses made me a bagel with PeanutButter at 2:00 in the morning (I even took a picture) It was a very good bagel!

When the next day came, my labor was not progressing at all. The contractions were very mild, they were less painful than my monthly period cramps. As the day continued my contractions stayed the same but the baby was not tolerating them well. Every time I would contract, her heart rate would dramatically decrease; sending all of the nurses and midwifes rushing into our room! I'll tell you; nothing is scarier than when 10-15 nurses and doctor's rush into your room with panicked looks and you have no idea why!

At this point my midwife lets me know that she believes it would be in our best interest to go ahead into a C-section right then, instead of later where it would most likely become an emergency surgery. Only wanting what is best for my daughter and I, I agreed.

Immediately, the nurses started prepping me. This was my first major surgery other than having my wisdom teeth removed. Not to mention the fact that I would be awake for the entire duration of the procedure. To say that I was nervous is an understatement. I was about to willingly let someone paralyze my body from my ribs down, and then let them cut my stomach open. Maybe take me on a date first?

In all seriousness, I was scared shitless. It also wasn't helpful when they didn't let Casey into the room while they inserted the spinal block. That was by far one of the worst parts of the experience. It hurt so bad; the nurses had to help hold me down because if I were to move in the wrong way I could've been actually paralyzed. I couldn't help but sob as the anesthesiologist had to keep digging the needle into my back. I wish I was able to have my support person there with me; That would have helped me tremendously. Finally, after what seemed like 15 minutes of pure torture; The block was in, I couldn't feel the pain anymore, and they let Casey through the door.

This man is my rock. As soon as he walked into the room all of my worries washed away. I love you Casey <3

At 7:00 pm after 30 minutes of being on the table Ella was born perfectly healthy weighing 6.2 pounds and 19 inches! I felt complete <3

(TMI WARNING)

Now, here's the crazy thing; Some people would have you believe that cesareans are the easy way out of labor. That couldn't be further from the truth. I couldn't believe how much pain I had to go through just to do the simple things other moms were able to do with little to no pain! And that's not to say that other moms who gave birth vaginally didn't go through pain because I'm sure they did! But to be quite frank with you, I did have all of my organs taken out, rearranged, and then I was expected to walk the following day!

After being told I needed to get up and walk I was thinking 'Um girl what the hell?! Right after major abdominal surgery?!' No matter how many pain meds they gave me, nothing hurt worse than standing up and down. For an entire month I had to use a step stool to get in my own bed. I cringe now thinking back to that very painful time!

Not only are women expected to walk the day after the surgery; we have a whole ass human to care for! I can't even explain how much it hurt just to change the baby's diaper! Casey only had a week off after Ella was born! I still had five weeks of recovery while attending to the baby as a new stay at home mom! It was a lot to deal with! My sleep was also affected (More than from the obvious reasons of having a newborn) due to me having anxiety that Casey would accidently punch or kick me in the stomach in his sleep. I slept with a pillow over my stomach for 4 months!

Moms who have to go through Cesarean surgery do NOT get a free pass on labor just because we didn't physically push out our children. My body was just as drained as other mothers who gave birth vaginally! It was not the easy way out and it doesn't make me any less of the great mother I am today!

If you have gone through a cesarean, I am so proud of what you have overcome!

If you know someone who has had a C-section, please give them some love! (Trust me, they deserve it!)

If you know someone that has given birth, no matter the circumstances, please give them LOVE!!!

We are all human; everyone's experiences are Valid.

And finally, spread love and kindness everywhere you go! You never know what other people are going through! It doesn't cost anything to be kind <3

Fun fact (more like wtf fact), after a cesarean surgery the surgeon doesn't need to put your organs back where they were originally. Your body will sort out where they're supposed to be itself! Women are AMAZING!

Thank you for reading<3

~Emmy

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